So, finally there is a chink of light at the end of a long tunnel and we can start to plan for weddings later this year.
Dreaming and planning
I have been keeping my couples ticking along, asking them to think about how they might like their wedding day to look.
Most of them have started a board of images from the internet and these have been honed and refined over the last year as the seasons have altered and their relationships have deepened; the things that felt important at the outset are no longer as prescient and in one case there is now a small person to factor into the celebrations.
I found this paragraph in The Prophet – Khalil Gibran. I was given the book when I first started out as a Celebrant and this passage feels really elegant and timeless to me.
“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
For me, happiness is about allowing my partner to be their own person, to celebrate them and to work with their idiosyncrasies and foibles – they are, after all, what attracted you in the first place.
It feels as though living through a pandemic has allowed us time to know ourselves a bit better. There is nothing so scary as the possibility of an unseen killer lurking outside our homes and it has taken us all immense courage to face the uncertainty of the future.
Writing your vows
We have talked about writing vows, these too have altered as we have experienced more time together than we ever anticipated.
If you are lucky enough to have spent this time safe and secure with someone who has helped you face the fears, who has provided support and love and who is still there; what better way to let them know their importance than to tell them how much you value them, love them and care for them.
Your vows should be personal, they can be funny and irreverent and should be in your voice but they must reflect why you are making this commitment to one another, what you truly love about the person you have chosen to be with and what you hope for.
I really hope that the summer and autumn of this year will see the strongest bonds cemented by ceremonies that are deeply rooted in forbearance and love. Where couples do fill each other’s cup, knowing that it can only get better.